Dating red flags
He makes me feel bad about my opinions
Wednesday, December 17, 2025
When he makes you feel bad about your opinions, it can feel confusing and heavy. You may start to wonder if you are wrong, too sensitive, or not smart enough. You may begin to stay quiet just to keep the peace.
I want you to know something very simple. When someone often makes you feel bad about your opinions, that is a real dating red flag. It matters because your thoughts, feelings, and views are an important part of who you are.
It is not “too much” to want a partner who listens with care. It is not needy to want respect. In this guide, we will look at what is happening when he makes you feel bad about your opinions, why it hurts so much, and what you can gently do next.
This kind of pain often shows up in small moments in daily life. It is usually not one big event. It is a pattern of tiny cuts.
You share an idea about something simple, like a movie, a friend’s situation, or work. He laughs and says, “That makes no sense,” in a sharp or cold tone. You feel your face get warm. You wish you had stayed quiet.
You talk about a topic you care about, maybe politics, mental health, or how you want to live your life. He rolls his eyes. He says, “You don’t really understand how the world works,” or, “You’re being dramatic.” Your body goes tense. You start to doubt yourself.
You try to set a boundary, like, “I do not like when you joke about me in front of your friends.” He replies, “You’re overreacting. It was just a joke. Everyone thought it was funny.” Now you are not only hurt; you also feel guilty for speaking up.
After a while, you might notice some of these signs in yourself:
You might also start to question your memory. You think, “I remember it this way,” and he responds, “That is not what happened. You always twist things.” Over time, this can make you doubt your own mind.
If you see yourself in any of this, you are not imagining it. These reactions in your body and your feelings are telling you that something is off. You deserve to feel safe when you speak.
There are many reasons this might be happening, and none of them mean that your opinions are not valid. They also do not mean you are weak or broken. They simply show that his way of relating is not kind or safe for you.
Some people never learned how to disagree in a calm and kind way. Maybe in his home, people argued by mocking, cutting each other off, or winning debates. He may think this is normal.
He might say things like, “I’m just being honest,” or, “I’m just direct,” when he is actually being harsh and dismissive. Honesty does not need to hurt. Direct words can still be respectful.
Sometimes a person feels safer when they are the one who “knows more.” If he is insecure, he may push your opinions down so he can feel tall.
He may act like he is the expert on every topic. When you share a different view, he may use sarcasm or jokes. This can be a way to protect his own fragile sense of self, but it harms you.
Invalidation is when someone tells you that your inner world is wrong or not real. For example, “You’re overreacting,” “You’re crazy,” “That is not what you feel,” or “You are too sensitive.”
He may not even notice how often he does this. It can be a habit he uses to end hard talks quickly. If he can label you as “too much,” he does not have to look at his own behavior.
Contempt is a strong form of disrespect. It looks like eye rolls, sighs, mocking voices, name calling, and comments that make you feel beneath him.
Relationship research shows that contempt is one of the biggest warning signs for an unhealthy or breaking relationship. When he treats your opinions with contempt, he is telling you, with his behavior, that he sees himself as above you.
You may notice the red flag, but a different part of you hopes it will get better. You think, “He is sweet at other times,” or, “He had a hard childhood,” or, “Maybe I just need to explain myself more clearly.”
This hope is human. You care about him. You want to believe that love and patience will fix this. But if the pattern continues, it is important to pay attention to what is actually happening, not just what you wish could happen.
If you have been told in the past that you are “too sensitive” or “too emotional,” his words may land on old wounds. You may think, “Maybe I am the problem,” or, “If I were stronger, this would not bother me.”
When you already doubt yourself, it becomes easier to accept his story about you and harder to trust your own sense of things. This is part of why this pattern can be so painful and confusing.
When he makes you feel bad about your opinions again and again, it touches many areas of your life. It is not just about single moments or single topics. It shapes how you see yourself and what you believe you deserve.
First, it affects your self worth. You may begin to believe that your thoughts are less important than his. You might think, “He is smarter,” or, “He knows more,” and use that as a reason to stay quiet.
Second, it changes how you show up in the relationship. You might start to:
When this happens, the relationship may look peaceful from the outside. But inside, you feel lonely. You may feel like there is a wall between who you are and what you are “allowed” to show.
Third, it can affect your mood and mental health. You might feel anxious before seeing him, because you are preparing yourself for the next comment or eye roll. You might feel a heavy sadness or numbness after spending time with him.
Over time, this can lead to:
Fourth, it can shape your dating choices. If you stay in a relationship where he makes you feel bad about your opinions, you may start to believe that this is normal. You may feel drawn to partners who feel “familiar,” even if familiar is unkind.
You may also fear leaving because you think, “What if no one else wants me?” or, “What if every man is like this?” This is how disrespect can quietly shrink your world.
If you have already spent years in a situation like this, you may feel grief about time that feels lost. There is a gentle guide on this feeling called I feel like I wasted so much time. It might help you feel less alone in that pain.
You do not have to fix everything today. You also do not have to have a perfect plan. Small, kind steps are enough. Here are some ideas you can try at your own pace.
One of the most powerful things you can do is simply put words to your experience. You might write or say to yourself:
“When I share my opinions, he often dismisses them, jokes about them, or tells me I am overreacting. I end up feeling small, wrong, or silly. This is a pattern, and it hurts me.”
By naming the pattern, you remind yourself that this is not about one single flaw in you. It is about a dynamic between you and him.
Healthy partners will not agree with every opinion you have. That is okay. Disagreement can be normal.
Here is a simple way to tell the difference:
Start to notice how often he responds in each way. You can even keep a small log on your phone or in a notebook. This is not to obsess. It is to give you clear information, so you do not gaslight yourself.
Your body often knows before your mind does. When he makes you feel bad about your opinions, notice what happens inside you.
Do your shoulders tense? Does your stomach twist? Do you feel your throat tighten or your eyes sting? Do you suddenly feel tired and want to shut down?
These are not signs that you are weak. They are signals that you do not feel safe. You can gently say to yourself, “My body is reacting for a reason. I am listening.”
If you feel safe enough, you can test how he responds to a simple boundary. This is not to convince him. It is to gather information.
You might say something like:
Notice what happens next. Does he show curiosity, care, and a wish to do better? Or does he deny, blame you, or turn it into a joke?
His reaction gives you important insight about what the future with him might feel like.
While you sort through what to do in this relationship, you can also build support around yourself.
These practices help protect your sense of self, even if he does not change.
When you are ready, you can sit with some simple questions. You do not have to answer them all at once. Just notice what comes up.
The goal is not to force a choice. The goal is to connect with your own truth.
Many women have been taught to be grateful for any attention or love, even if it comes with disrespect. You may hear an inner voice say, “At least he stays,” or, “At least he cares sometimes.”
But basic respect is not a bonus. It is the ground. A partner who often makes you feel bad about your opinions is not giving you that ground. You deserve better than that, even if a part of you feels unsure you can have it.
Moving forward does not always mean a breakup right away. For some, it might. For others, it means slowly waking up to what is really going on and giving yourself permission to want more.
You might spend some time simply observing. Watching how often he makes you feel bad about your opinions. Watching how he reacts when you share your hurt. Watching how you feel in your own skin around him.
As you do this, you may notice small shifts in yourself. You may speak up a bit more clearly. You may let a comment land and think, “That was not okay,” instead of, “I must be the problem.”
There might also be waves of grief, anger, or sadness. These are normal. They show that you are starting to see the gap between what you hoped this relationship would be and what it is right now.
If you choose to stay and try to repair things, you can look for signs of real change, not just promises. Real change sounds like:
If you choose to leave, that is also a brave and valid path. It does not mean you failed. It means you listened to yourself. It means you chose an environment where your inner world can breathe.
Healing from a relationship where you were made to feel small can take time. You may find yourself second guessing your opinions even when he is no longer in your life. Be kind with yourself here. You are undoing a deep pattern.
Little by little, with safe people and gentle practice, you will start to feel your own voice getting stronger. You will notice that you can have an opinion, share it, and still feel calm and steady, even if someone else does not agree.
If he makes you feel bad about your opinions, it matters. It is not nothing. It is not “just how relationships are.” It is a sign that your mind and heart are not being treated with the care they deserve.
You are not too sensitive. You are not asking for too much when you want to be heard without being mocked or dismissed. You are asking for the basic respect that every person needs in order to feel safe and loved.
Tonight, you do not need to solve your whole life. You can simply take one small step that honors you. Maybe that step is writing down what has been happening. Maybe it is telling a friend the truth. Maybe it is quietly saying to yourself, “My opinions matter, even if he does not act like they do.”
Whatever you choose, know this. You are not alone in this feeling. Many women have been where you are and have slowly moved toward relationships where they feel seen, heard, and respected. You are allowed to want that too. You are allowed to protect your voice.
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