Modern dating
Why Treating Love Like A Job Application Signals Deep Dating Fatigue
Saturday, September 19, 2026
On September 16, 2026, Mothership reported on a 32-year-old Singaporean woman who finally reached her limit with modern dating. Dionis Liaw turned to TikTok under the handle @dionislovespink to look for a husband. She had been actively dating since March.
She had spent more than S$1,000 on dating apps. She paid for premium subscriptions on Coffee Meets Bagel and Hinge. She tried Bumble, Facebook Dating and Matchcatch too.
Frustrated by endless swiping, she asked her viewers to fill out an application form instead. Her public plea struck a nerve with anyone who has ever felt completely drained by their phone screen. Liaw said her frustration had been building for months.
She felt she had swiped to the end of the stacks on these dating apps.
Hearing about someone abandoning the swipe-based dating apps entirely makes perfect sense to our team. We help people who feel tired of talking to strangers who never actually meet up. Our philosophy at Uncrumb is that the goal is not to become cold.
The goal is to become clear. Clarity is kind, and it saves both your energy and their time. When you spend months scrolling through profiles without a real connection, a profound tiredness sets in.
You might start wondering if you are doing something wrong or if you are simply unlovable. This feeling of hitting a wall is incredibly common among women navigating modern dating. It can feel like a second job that only pays you in confusion and mixed signals.
A secondary report from Factlen describes a 2026 meta-analysis of 27 studies involving 21,263 users. That review found associations between swiping-based dating-app use, behavioral dysregulation and body dissatisfaction. The exhaustion you feel is a documented reality.
It is not a sign of personal failure. In our experience, feeling numb in dating situations often means your nervous system is protecting you. It does not mean you are becoming bitter or cynical.
We guide people to take intentional breaks without guilt. Numbness signals a need for rest, and returning after a break often brings clearer pattern recognition. Your heart is simply asking for a gentler pace.
Liaw used Jotform and later Tally to create a questionnaire with about 20 questions. The form asked potential matches about their basic details, their views on marriage and their attitudes toward cats. She asked if they were comfortable dating a separated woman whose divorce was not yet final.
This level of honesty is deeply refreshing. She asked when they hoped to marry and how they felt about having two children. She described herself as separated and without children.
She stated she was dating with marriage in mind. These are the conversations many couples avoid for months out of fear. Dating apps can allow two people to establish intense chemistry before finding out they disagree on fundamental life goals.
A few years ago, I dated someone where the chemistry was absolutely electric. It felt like fireworks, but the fallout was always smoke and confusion. I ignored the canceled plans and the sudden mood shifts.
It took a tearful conversation with a friend to help me see the truth. That friend showed me that butterflies are sometimes just a warning sign for anxiety. Choosing a steady connection eventually taught me to look for shared values first.
I learned to choose consistency over chaos. The public nature of a TikTok video might feel a bit intimidating to some people. Liaw herself admitted the execution was playful, but her intention was incredibly serious.
She wanted a partner who desired marriage, had financial stability and communicated maturely. She even listed a preference for a partner with a provider mindset. She stated that her ideal match is driven and does not smoke.
Putting everything on the table early prevents the quiet pain of delayed heartbreak later. It protects your fragile hope from unnecessary disappointment. The goal is to screen for alignment before you invest your feelings.
The reaction to this modern matchmaking experiment was swift and telling. According to Mothership, her video had surpassed 125,000 views by the time the article was published. This high level of engagement points to a collective yearning for directness.
People are clearly tired of pretending they do not care. Liaw reported receiving approximately 79 submissions. She noted that 65 came through the original Jotform and 14 came through the newer Tally form.
This shows that people are willing to answer direct questions. Not every response was a serious proposal for marriage. Liaw mentioned that some submissions appeared to be jokes from casual viewers.
She stressed that the form was just a first-stage screen. It was meant to help her decide who might be worth meeting for a single date. The form clearly stated that submissions were private.
The form noted that submitting an application did not guarantee a reply. The goal was never to marry a stranger directly from a spreadsheet. It was simply a way to save energy.
By the time the report was published, she had already arranged a first date with one respondent. This quick turnaround shows the appeal of stating your needs directly. Clients often tell me they are afraid of asking for a simple phone call.
They worry it might make them seem crazy or too demanding. I used to feel the exact same way. I would twist myself into knots trying to be the cool, low-maintenance girl.
Asking for basic communication is never too much for the right person. The day I started stating my needs plainly was the day the wrong people naturally filtered themselves out of my life.
Watching someone take such a bold step can make you feel like you need a radical dating strategy. The truth is that you do not need to broadcast your relationship goals to thousands of strangers. You can combat dating app burnout by simply getting very honest with yourself.
Liaw’s story is just an invitation to figure out what you genuinely need. Your journey does not have to be a viral spectacle. You are allowed to want someone who wants children, loves cats or values marriage.
Writing down your core non-negotiables gives you a quiet compass for your own dating journey. It helps you navigate the noise with a gentle confidence. You do not have to settle for situationships that leave you feeling empty and unseen.
It is perfectly okay to pause, take a deep breath and log off for a few days. We promise to never judge you for how long it takes you to heal. You deserve a love that feels safe and clear.
If dating feels heavy today, protect your peace by writing down three fundamental values you need in a partner. Keep this private list in your journal or on your phone. Let it guide your choices the next time you decide to open an app.
A collective of writers and researchers specializing in behavioral psychology and relationship recovery.
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